The Hopeful New Year

You have no idea what I have been going through mentally and socially. Must say, I so badly didn't want to get into a relationship until the new year started and yet, I must admit sometimes its lonely being by yourself. Don't let people fool you when they say that, trust me its so cliche. Bringing in the New Year at church is always great don't get me wrong, but I swear it never beats spending that time with your significant other. But that is over. I just had to promise myself that next year I will be better and hopefully I will have more than a boo thang to spend that moment with. 2011, was truly a year that brought a lot of past feelings and too much impulsive movement and actions. So, this year I feel like the best thing for me to do is to take the backseat when it comes to love and stop being so demanding and impetuous. I just don't want to mess anything up and the situation I am in now is exactly what I didn't want to be in again, but to that amazing person I am going to leave that part up to you. That is the better decision. I was just hoping with this man I would finally win and maybe the winning part will happen if we ever get together. I am not the same person I was a few years ago, I have 3 responsibilities (partially) and trust me I would never want anything to ever jeopardize that. But hopefully someone will see the better side of me, outside of them. But as I am typing all of this don't think that I won't have to ever put my foot down and be me, the demanding and sometimes impatient person I have always been, but just this time I will use my better judgement and actually plan some things through. I swear right now I just feel like something is missing in my life and I believe I have found it but we will see if I am ever given the opportunity. I hope this year will bring the best out of me and with that being said I will close and say sometimes you have to depend on a star and a prayer when dealing with matters of the heart and the L word..... LOVE! (Fairy Tale Stuff but it helps get the edge off of reality.)